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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23128171">Never Enough</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/yanayanakun/pseuds/yanayanakun'>yanayanakun</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>that fic where the author just wants to hurt mc [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Mystic Messenger (Video Game)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Emotional Hurt, F/M, Post-Canon, mentioned abuse and torture, no beta we die like men, slight v/rika</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-03-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-03-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 06:55:48</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,088</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23128171</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/yanayanakun/pseuds/yanayanakun</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>But realizing this did not change anything, because they did not realize that they treated her as if she was never enough.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Choi Saeran/Main Character</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>that fic where the author just wants to hurt mc [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1665382</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>9</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>72</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Never Enough</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Hello guys! </p><p>This is my first ever fanfic (literally this is my first written and published fanfic) so please bear with it if I have grammatical incorrect sentences or if there are typos ^_^)</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was during the 5<sup>th</sup> party MC organized for the RFA (which is also her 5<sup>th</sup> anniversary as an RFA member)</p><p>V was late as usual, but Jumin said that he was on his way. MC did not expect anything really, since V was always late. She felt that something is wrong, but decided to ignore it (her anxiety that is the result of the events during her 1<sup>st</sup> year as an RFA member made her always feel that something is wrong)</p><p>In the past years, V is always updating the RFA on Rika’s condition, he said that maybe in 5 years’ time, Rika will be herself again. She will be a member again. Everyone is happy with this, especially Yoosung. Not knowing that MC and Saeran is dreading for that time, when they would meet their abuser again.</p><p>Others would say that the two of them are healed now, considering that Saeran is not that closed-off anymore and MC was back to her usual, smiling self. But deep down in their hearts, the two of them did not forget their time in Mint Eye, they did not forget how Rika would laugh at MC’s torture and how she would manipulate Saeran’s mind so he would hate MC.</p><p>This is the year when V said that Rika’s medication will be done, so this will be her last time to host a party. Realizing this now does not make it less hurt, she is aware that the RFA only saw her as a replacement for Rika, they did not say it directly but she can see it from their disappointed looks when they are in <em>her </em>party, she can see it from their excitement from Rika’s recovery and how they are talking about her future plans as a coordinator, as if she is not present, as if their <em>present </em>coordinator is not here. So she definitely tried her best to at least be at her level.</p><p>V came in the venue only after the guests are gone. MC saw him greet Jumin and Jaehee, she plans to go to him to properly greet him when she stopped. She saw her blonde flowy hair, she should’ve known that she was the reason why V was late, she should’ve known that V wants to bring her to the party so everyone can see her face to face. MC froze at her spot, but remembering that Saeran is here at the party, MC started looking for him, when she saw Saeran also frozen at his spot, she immediately decided to go to him. Even if MC too is scared of her, too scared to even move(even if V always say that she is recovering properly), she went to Saeran and held his hand, Saeran flinched and immediately looked at the person who held his hand, but seeing that it was only MC, he relaxed and squeezed her hand.</p><p>While holding Saeran’s hand, MC looked at the RFA members’ faces. Yoosung was obviously very happy and immediately hugged Rika while crying, Jaehee and Zen has brilliant smiles on their faces, Jumin went to V to clasped his shoulder and offer his congratulations (MC does not know what for) and MC finally looked at Saeyoung and saw him looking at you and your hand that is currently holding his twin’s. Saeyoung was about to ask what was wrong when Rika decided to call MC.</p><p>“MC! It is so good to see you!” Rika approached MC and hugged her, while MC was still holding Saeran’s hand. MC stiffen and tighten her hold on Saeran, he noticed this so he gently grabbed Rika’s shoulder and gently pushed her from MC, even if he is shaking from his fear of defying his savior’s wish------<em>no Saeran she is no longer your savior, she wouldn’t be able to do anything to you or MC anymore</em>.</p><p>Smiling (but this smile is like what he wears when he was in the Mint Eye), Saeran grabbed MC’s hand and made her stand behind him. He looked at Rika at the eye, “Good evening Rika. Could you please not touch MC?” MC gasped and grasped his hand tightly, Saeyoung hissed at Saeran while looking warily at V, Yoosung is glaring at Saeran while rubbing a hand on Rika’s bare shoulder, as a sign of comfort, Zen and Jaehee looking between Rika and Saeran not knowing what to say, Jumin made a move to Saeran but V gently held his arm out to prevent him from confronting Saeran, he looked at Jumin and shook his head, Jumin tsk-ed and backed away.</p><p>V looked at Saeran’s slightly shaking form and how he was shielding MC from Rika, like Rika will hurt MC. V’s heart hurt from knowing that even though Rika recovered from her illness, her victims did not fully recover from her. V looked at MC and his heart broke from seeing her teary golden eyes and her erratic breathing. “V, why did you bring her here?” V looked at Saeran and saw a glimpse of the Saeran he knew from Mint Eye. Before he can answer though, Yoosung answered it for him (well, sort of).</p><p>“Why?! Is she not allowed to be here?!” Yoosung shouted at Saeran, good thing the party is already done and all of the guests went home already. Saeran blankly looked at Yoosung and raised his eyebrow, “No? I am only asking why V brought her here aren’t I? I didn’t say anything about her not being allowed here” With Saeran’s <em>almost </em>sarcastic answer, Yoosung became angrier and hissed at Saeran. “No you didn’t! But you are definitely implying that she shouldn’t be here! Rika only got back from the hospital so you should treat her gently!”</p><p>Saeran scoffed and glared at Yoosung, “Gently? You want ME to treat her gently? That woman who abused me and MC?” Rika flinched at this and V went to her other side and kissed her forehead, V looked at Saeran and looked at him, to warn him to be careful of his words, but Saeran was having none of it, not when his angel is hurting because of this woman that the RFA is trying so hard to protect. Not when that woman who hurt them is forgiven now because of she is apparently “healed”.</p><p>“That woman who drugged and brainwashed me, to make me follow her? That woman who tortured MC and verbally abused her just so she doesn’t lose me? THAT WOMAN WHO YOU OPENLY ACCEPTED WHEN YOU CLEARLY SEE THAT MC WAS NOT YET OVER HER TRAUMA!” Saeran is breathing heavily, he wants to tell the RFA this ever since V told them that Rika is in Alaska to heal and he decided that she will be a member of the RFA again after her healing.</p><p>Yoosung cannot believe his ears, Rika is back now so everyone should care for her and treat her with kindness, she suffered so much but Saeran decided to be difficult? Besides, the woman who abused them was not Rika, that was her other persona, which is the result of her trauma as a child, right? Yoosung being blinded by rage started shaking. “I don’t care what happened in the past! That is now in the past so you should focus in the present, which is where the good Rika is present! Besides, this is her party right? Even if MC is the coordinator when she was gone, now that Rika is here, she will be the head and coordinator of the RFA again! MC will just be an ordinary member now-----”</p><p>Knowing where this was going, Zen attempted to stop Yoosung from saying anything, but he was too late.</p><p>“-----she will be an ordinary member now, because she just replaced Rika as the coordinator right? So don’t treat her as if she is special just because she fulfilled her job as a replacement for Rika! Also, let me tell you this! The parties she organized? IT IS SO POORLY DONE! Rika could have done better! That is why Rika should be a member again and we should kick out the member who did not even do anything right in the first place!”</p><p>After Yoosung’s outburst, all of them are silent, except for MC’s erratic breathing and small sniffles. Yoosung realizing what he said loudly gasped and put a hand on his mouth. He can’t believe he said, <em>he cannot believe he said that. </em>Why did he said that? What made him say that?</p><p>
  <em>Nonononono Saeran was the one who pushed me, MC did her job poorly that is why I got angry, all of the RFA agrees that Rika was so much better in coordinating------</em>
</p><p>Yoosung gasped again not realizing that these thoughts flew through his mind.</p><p>“That is it.” After a long amount of silence, Saeran quietly said this. He looked at each and every one of them and drew a deep breath.</p><p>
  <em>“Consider us not members of RFA anymore.”</em>
</p><p>They all looked at him, shocked at what he said, Rika full on sobbing now, V still attempting to calm her down by hugging her and rubbing her back.</p><p>“W-what? Saeran, you can’t be serious. Just because of one member got mad at you two? You decide to leave?” Saeyoung should have worded his statement better, maybe they would have a higher chance in making the two of them stay.</p><p>Saeran looked at Saeyoung blankly rolled his eyes, “Yes <em>Luciel, </em>I decided to leave just because Yoosung got mad at us” he said this with sarcasm. Saeyoung was shocked to say the least, Saeran only called him Luciel when he was in Mint Eye.</p><p>“Alright now you have crossed the line. You have disrespected Rika and V, by making Rika cry knowing that she is still sensitive and now, you’re disrespecting your brother just because of petty reasons?” Jumin walked towards Saeran and looked at him in the eye, Saeran was slightly smaller, so he has to slightly look down. He expects to see Saeran glaring at him, but he definitely did not expect <em>this.</em></p><p>Saeran’s mint eyes is void of emotions, it is like the old Saeran is back. But he can see him shaking, obviously containing his anger. He also looked at MC, but before he can fully look at her Saeran spoke and blocked his----<em>their </em>view of MC.</p><p>“Yes Jumin Han, I disrespected Rika and V yada yada yada. But remember this, who was the person who saved all of you from grief? Who was the person who became a friend to all of you even though the RFA are basically strangers to her? Who was the person that decided to love you all even if I told her that you are all just AIs and still love you when she learned that all of you are real humans? Who was the person who accepted the responsibility of the supposedly dead person so that she can make all of you happy, even if all she has was 1 fucking week, which is considered shorter than normal?” Saeran was looking at all of them, one by one to look at their reaction, but they cannot meet his eyes.</p><p>“Who was the person who endured being compared to someone dead, but apparently alive and is an abuser and a manipulator and a lunatic, but still endured all of your comparisons just to see you all happy? Even if you did not appreciate her efforts, she still organized this fucking party, she still wants to be your friends because she wants all of you to heal from Rika’s shocking death? Even if all of you knew what kind of person she is, you still consider Rika the better person? Well fuck you all. That’s all really I can say, fuck all of you. I hope you will be satisfied knowing that you hurt the most precious person in the world. I hope you are satisfied knowing that you did not appreciate MC’s effort when all she did was love and serve all of you.”</p><p>After Saeran’s speech, he grabbed MC who was crying now, and walked out the door.</p><p>The RFA did not know what to say, they are all reflecting and realizing that indeed they all took advantage of the kindness of the person who was there for them from the very beginning. But realizing this did not change anything, because they did not realize that they treated her as if she was <em>never enough.</em></p>
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